While researching the strategies used by families of
successful college scholarship winners, I noticed they dined together at least
five days a week. It didn’t matter how busy they were at work, or if their
children were involved in after school sports or other activities. They made
sure to have dinner together. Many studies have shown this is a significant
factor in the success of a child in school and later in life.
Think of any negative activity a teenager could get
into, (alcohol, crime, drugs, dropping out of school, pregnancy, gangs, etc.).
Research indicates such conduct is avoided by children who grow up dining with
their families at least five nights each week. The families of every full ride
scholarship winner I have met also followed this practice.
Here’s a painless way to make it happen, if you aren’t
doing so already. Decide you’re going to do it. This is the most difficult
step. Once you’ve decided, really decided, the rest is pretty easy. Determine
which evening of the week is filled with the fewest activities. Circle it every
time it appears on your calendar or planner. Pick a dinnertime and write it down.
When a friend or work colleague wants you to go somewhere, or do something for them on a Sunday,
tell them you need to check your calendar before agreeing. Then tell them you’re
fully booked that evening. Done.
After your family has made this a habit, (maybe after
three or four weeks), not just writing it down or telling people you have a
prior commitment, but actually doing it, then pick another night and repeat the
process. It may take a little more effort arranging the second night, but it’s
worth it. Children who dine with their families this often are happier, more
successful in school and receive more scholarship money for college. Continue
rearranging your schedule until you are enjoying dinner together at least five
nights each week.
During your family dinnertime, chat with your children
and your spouse. This is not the time to scold anyone for failing to do chores or
to check up on grades or homework. This is a time to connect through sharing a
meal and pleasant conversation. If you are ever stumped as to what to talk
about, then check the Families Alive website, https://www.familiesalive.org/dinnertable/ for suggestions. When you first start this family tradition, it may seem
awkward. After a few meals, everyone will relax, and you’ll notice your
children will start to really talk to you. That is, if you listen to them,
really listen, especially while looking them in the eye.
Make this your New Year’s Resolution. It'll pay off
with happier kids, fewer problems, better grades in school, and could actually
help earn more scholarships for college down the line.
For more information, you’ll want my new book, Free College Awareness, coming soon from Griffin Publishing. How to avoid needing college loans; available soon to families of Pre-K through High School students.
You are reading from the blog: http://www.roadtofreecollege.com
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